Should You Try Again with an Ex?
He Said/She Said
HE SAID: We've all been there, right? You break up. Time goes by. Things get quiet, and then out of nowhere you get an innocent text message, e-mail, or phone call. Before you know it, "How's it going?" leads to "Sure, I can meet," which turns into "Why did I break up with him again?" and ends with the question "Should I try this again?" No, you shouldn't.
Exes are like old clothes in your closet. Sometimes they fit, sometimes they don't. They may be out of style. You may not like to wear them, or maybe you do, or maybe you just wear them once in a while. For whatever reason, though, you just cannot bear to throw them away. Just like the clothes you keep in your closet and no longer wear, there is a reason that your exes are just that.
Time apart from an ex can provide a moment of clarity about the relationship that was not possible or difficult to achieve during it. Hindsight gives us the ability to savor our regret and reconsider the choice we made. In vulnerable moments, though, hindsight also affords us the opportunity to crave something that was flawed but comfortable over the journey of understanding what it is that we truly want in a partner.
If you regret the choice to end a relationship and recognize that it was right for you and meets your needs, then do everything you can to revive it. Otherwise, have the courage and conviction to leave your ex in your past. In either case, be decisive.
In the end, settling for someone you have had before knowing full well that they are not the answer to your relationship needs does more harm than good because it reinforces that you cannot have or deserve what you want. Now, call me a romantic, but I think that everyone deserves to have an amazing, life-altering, loving, and passionate relationship. Do we all get one? No, but if we do not have the will to try, how will we ever know if we can?
SHE SAID: There are two kinds of exes you're tempted to try again with. There's the short two-monther romance that barely had time to get off the ground before bad timing and the like intervened. And then there's the one that made you swear you would never love again and get a third cat. Go ahead and see if it works with that guy you had a summer fling with a few years ago...but as for the latter? Don't attempt it unless one or both of you has changed sufficiently to possibly make it work.
The caveat is that people don't change.
They do, of course, but not when and how you want them to. The chronic cheater you dumped may very well mature into the monogamous man of your dreams...but his moral makeover won't happen five weeks after the breakup when you're considering getting back together with him. I don't believe that once a cheater, always a cheater, but I do believe that "once a cheater, next month a cheater." There are the rare exceptions, of course — perhaps one of you had a change of heart about a deal-breaker issue like children or religion — in which case, proceed with caution. But for those exes who don't fall into that category (and most don't), what's the rush?
Give it some time. Let yourself go through the entire breakup aftershock and all the wet tissues, promises to join a convent, and bitchfests with friends that the process entails. Pining for a toxic ex is like craving drive-through junk food. They're right there and exactly what you want at the moment, but you'll regret it in the morning. It too shall pass, so let it.
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
I LOVE YOU BECAUSE..
I love you because you make me happy
I love you because you make me feel safe and secure
I love your smile
I love the way you say my name
I love the look in your eyes when you tell me you love me
And how you laugh at me when I do something stupid, when others would put
me down.
I love the fact that when I'm around you I can be myself and not worry
about what you may think of me, because I know you love me for who I am.
No matter what my faults may be.
I love being able to wake up with you by my side... It makes my days
better
I love the way you always make me feel good,,
And I love the way I feel when you show me how much you CARE,,
I love hearing your voice
And hearing you tell me your stories, you could tell them to me a thousand
times, and I will never get tired of them, because they are a part of you.
But the main reason I love you is because.....
You are you!
I love you because you make me feel safe and secure
I love your smile
I love the way you say my name
I love the look in your eyes when you tell me you love me
And how you laugh at me when I do something stupid, when others would put
me down.
I love the fact that when I'm around you I can be myself and not worry
about what you may think of me, because I know you love me for who I am.
No matter what my faults may be.
I love being able to wake up with you by my side... It makes my days
better
I love the way you always make me feel good,,
And I love the way I feel when you show me how much you CARE,,
I love hearing your voice
And hearing you tell me your stories, you could tell them to me a thousand
times, and I will never get tired of them, because they are a part of you.
But the main reason I love you is because.....
You are you!
TRUE LOVE..
Love is not about finding the right person,
but creating a right relationship.
It's not about how much love
you have in the beginning
but how much love you build till the end.
Never question if you are in love or not,
because if you were
you wouldn't need to ask.
In her love I am the hero,
the king,the poet;
and alive without her love,
I am nothing at all,
not even truly alive.
I can still remember
just the way you taste.
When you love someone,
you pick up the little things
and magically turn them
into something special.
Tonight I resign myself to missing you
for I know I have the rest of my life
to wake up next to you
Your heart and mine are forever one!
Here in my heart,
that´s where you´ll be;
you´ll be with me,
here in my heart.
No distance can keep us apart,
long as you´re here in my heart.
Love is the shortest distance between hearts.
I would give up anything just to be with you."
If he is the first thing you think of when you wake up,
the only thing you think of when you're awake,
and the last thing you think of before you go to bed,
then he is really somebody special.
Anything is possible,
when it comes to love.
Everytime I think of you,
I'm sad.
Everytime I hear you're name,
I'm mad.
But everytime I think of how you made me feel,
I'm glad.
Your love as far as I can see
is all I'm ever gonna need.
Some say it is a sin to love,
I never did ask why,
But, if I sin in loving you, I'll sin until I die!
After a year of having to live without you,
I've realized I lost me when I lost you;
I miss you.
If I knew missing you was going to
be a part of my life
, I never would have let you in.
When you realize you want to
spend the rest of your life with a person,
you want the rest of your life
to start as soon as possible.
but creating a right relationship.
It's not about how much love
you have in the beginning
but how much love you build till the end.
Never question if you are in love or not,
because if you were
you wouldn't need to ask.
In her love I am the hero,
the king,the poet;
and alive without her love,
I am nothing at all,
not even truly alive.
I can still remember
just the way you taste.
When you love someone,
you pick up the little things
and magically turn them
into something special.
Tonight I resign myself to missing you
for I know I have the rest of my life
to wake up next to you
Your heart and mine are forever one!
Here in my heart,
that´s where you´ll be;
you´ll be with me,
here in my heart.
No distance can keep us apart,
long as you´re here in my heart.
Love is the shortest distance between hearts.
I would give up anything just to be with you."
If he is the first thing you think of when you wake up,
the only thing you think of when you're awake,
and the last thing you think of before you go to bed,
then he is really somebody special.
Anything is possible,
when it comes to love.
Everytime I think of you,
I'm sad.
Everytime I hear you're name,
I'm mad.
But everytime I think of how you made me feel,
I'm glad.
Your love as far as I can see
is all I'm ever gonna need.
Some say it is a sin to love,
I never did ask why,
But, if I sin in loving you, I'll sin until I die!
After a year of having to live without you,
I've realized I lost me when I lost you;
I miss you.
If I knew missing you was going to
be a part of my life
, I never would have let you in.
When you realize you want to
spend the rest of your life with a person,
you want the rest of your life
to start as soon as possible.
being far away..
Miles and miles and miles apart.
Although so far you've touched my heart.
Your laugh, your voice, your adoring smile,
Seem to shorten every mile.
I wake every morning and rest at night,
My thoughts and dreams filled with your sight.
Oh how I wish, even for one night,
I could lay in your arms and you hold me tight.
Not just a little briused or battered,
When I think of the distance it's completely shattered.
We'll never give up or say goodbye.
Remember together, the moon in the sky.
Your heart's a part of me and mine of you.
With that alone, we shall not be blue.
Although so far you've touched my heart.
Your laugh, your voice, your adoring smile,
Seem to shorten every mile.
I wake every morning and rest at night,
My thoughts and dreams filled with your sight.
Oh how I wish, even for one night,
I could lay in your arms and you hold me tight.
Not just a little briused or battered,
When I think of the distance it's completely shattered.
We'll never give up or say goodbye.
Remember together, the moon in the sky.
Your heart's a part of me and mine of you.
With that alone, we shall not be blue.
just the way you want it.. :): signs if your EX still LOVES you ..
just the way you want it.. :): signs if your EX still LOVES you ..: "Have you ever broken up and desperately searched for signs your ex still loves you? Many people after a bad break up, especially if they wer..."
60 thinGs giRLs shUd knOw abOut gUyz,,
1. Guys hate sluts even though they have sex with them!
(oh yeah..you're not "popular" if you've slept with more than 5 guys..you're a HOE)
2. "Hey, are you busy?" or "Are you doing something?" ~ two phrases guys open with to stop from stammering on the phone.
3... Guys may be flirting around all day but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.
4. Before they call, guys try to plan out a little about what they're gonna say so there aren't awkward pauses, but once he's on the phone he forgets it all and makes it up as he goes.
5. Guys go crazy over a girl's smile.
6. Guys will do anything just to get you to notice him.
7. Guys hate it when you talk about your ex-boyfriend or ex love-interest. Unless they're goin for the let-her-complain-to-you-and-then-have-her-realize-how-wonderful-and-nice-you-are method.
8. A guy who likes you wants to be the only guy you talk to.
9. Boyfriends need to be reassured often that they're still loved.
10. Don't talk about your guy friends to your boyfriend.
11. Guys get jealous easily.
12. Guys are more emotional than they'd like people to think.
13. Giving a guy a hanging message like "You know what?!..uh...nevermind.." would make him jump to a conclusion that is far from what you are thinking. And he'll assume he did something wrong and he'll obsess about it trying to figure it out.
14... Guys are good flatterers when courting but they usually stammer when they talk to a girl they really like.
15. Guys hate asking parents for money to buy girls presents. So they come up with ideas like saving their lunch money for a week. But it never works because guys are always hungry so they end up asking the parents for money anyway.
16. Girls are guys' weaknesses.
17. Guys are very open about themselves.
18. It's good to test a guy first before you trust him. But don't let him wait too long.
19. Your best friend, whom your boyfriend seeks help from about his problems with you may end up being admired by your boyfriend.
20. If a guy tells you about his problems, he just needs someone to listen to him. You don't need to give advice.
21. A usual act that proves that the guy likes you is when he teases you.
22. Guys love you more than you love them if they are serious in your relationships.
23. Guys will brag about anything.
24. Guys use words like hot or cute to describe girls. We rarely use beautiful. If a guy uses that, he likes you a whole hell of a lot.
25. Guys think WAY too much. One small thing a girl does, even if she doesn't notice it can make the guy think about it for hours, trying to figure out what it meant.
26. Guys seek for advice from girls not other guys. Because most guys think alike, so if one guy's confused, then we're all confused.
27. Any guy could write out a rulebook or advice book for flirting, but no guy can write out a book about relationships.
28. Try to be as straightforward as possible.
29. A guy has to experience rejection, because if he's too-good-never-been-busted, never been in love and hurt, he won't be mature and grown up.
30. If the guy does something stupid in front of the girl, he will think about it for the next couple days or until the next time he spends time with the girl.
31. No matter how much guys talk about asses and boobs, personality is key.
32. Guys learn from experience not from the romance books that girls read and take as their basis of experience.
33. Guys worry about the thin line between being compassionate and being whipped.
34. If a guy looks unusually calm and laid back, he's probably faking it and is spazzing inside.
35. When a guy says he is going crazy about the girl, he really is. Guys rarely say that.
36. When a guy asks you to leave him alone, he's just actually saying, "Please come and listen to me."
37. Guys don't really have final decisions.
38. If a guy starts to talk seriously, listen to him. It doesn't happen that often, so when it does, you know something's up.
39. If your best guy friend seems to avoid you or is never around when you're with your boyfriend, he's probably jealous and likes you.
40. When a guy looks at you for longer than a second, he's definitely thinking something.
41. Guys like femininity not feebleness.
42. Guys don't like girls who punch harder than they do.
43. A guy has more problems than you can see with your naked eyes.
44. Don't be a snob. Guys can be intimidated and give up easily.
45. Everything in moderation. Put on makeup, wear perfume. Just not too much.
46. Guys talk about girls more than girls talk about guys.
47. Guys hate rejection, but they hate being led on even more.
48. Guys really think that girls are strange and have unpredictable decisions and are MAD confusing but somehow are drawn even more to them.
49. A guy would give his left nut to be able to read a girl's mind for a day.
50. No guy can handle all his problems on his own. He's just too stubborn to admit it.
51. Not all guys are assholes. Just because ONE is a jackass doesnt mean he represents ALL of us.
52. We don't like girls who are too skinny.
53. We love it when girls talk about there boobs.
54. Always make sure you know what kind of stuff your getting into before making out with a guy ...like wheather it's a one time deal or not ......
55. Believe it or not shy guys are the most easiest to talk to..it may not seem right but trust me they will start opening up like books after you just ask them questions about their lives and unoticable tell them about yours...
56. When a guy hits your butt it means that he wants you sexually
57. Even if they refuse it all guys are ticklish on the ribs..
58. Guys love neck rubs and if he lets you keep doing it ..it means that he really likes you or his neck really hurts...
59. Guys will test the waters to see how far they can get with you. Even if he doesn't intend to it will happen. Know how far it is you want to let him go and he will respect that...after you let him know a couple times.
60. When a guy sacerfices his sleep and health just to be with you, he really likes you and wants to be with you as much as possible.
(oh yeah..you're not "popular" if you've slept with more than 5 guys..you're a HOE)
2. "Hey, are you busy?" or "Are you doing something?" ~ two phrases guys open with to stop from stammering on the phone.
3... Guys may be flirting around all day but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.
4. Before they call, guys try to plan out a little about what they're gonna say so there aren't awkward pauses, but once he's on the phone he forgets it all and makes it up as he goes.
5. Guys go crazy over a girl's smile.
6. Guys will do anything just to get you to notice him.
7. Guys hate it when you talk about your ex-boyfriend or ex love-interest. Unless they're goin for the let-her-complain-to-you-and-then-have-her-realize-how-wonderful-and-nice-you-are method.
8. A guy who likes you wants to be the only guy you talk to.
9. Boyfriends need to be reassured often that they're still loved.
10. Don't talk about your guy friends to your boyfriend.
11. Guys get jealous easily.
12. Guys are more emotional than they'd like people to think.
13. Giving a guy a hanging message like "You know what?!..uh...nevermind.." would make him jump to a conclusion that is far from what you are thinking. And he'll assume he did something wrong and he'll obsess about it trying to figure it out.
14... Guys are good flatterers when courting but they usually stammer when they talk to a girl they really like.
15. Guys hate asking parents for money to buy girls presents. So they come up with ideas like saving their lunch money for a week. But it never works because guys are always hungry so they end up asking the parents for money anyway.
16. Girls are guys' weaknesses.
17. Guys are very open about themselves.
18. It's good to test a guy first before you trust him. But don't let him wait too long.
19. Your best friend, whom your boyfriend seeks help from about his problems with you may end up being admired by your boyfriend.
20. If a guy tells you about his problems, he just needs someone to listen to him. You don't need to give advice.
21. A usual act that proves that the guy likes you is when he teases you.
22. Guys love you more than you love them if they are serious in your relationships.
23. Guys will brag about anything.
24. Guys use words like hot or cute to describe girls. We rarely use beautiful. If a guy uses that, he likes you a whole hell of a lot.
25. Guys think WAY too much. One small thing a girl does, even if she doesn't notice it can make the guy think about it for hours, trying to figure out what it meant.
26. Guys seek for advice from girls not other guys. Because most guys think alike, so if one guy's confused, then we're all confused.
27. Any guy could write out a rulebook or advice book for flirting, but no guy can write out a book about relationships.
28. Try to be as straightforward as possible.
29. A guy has to experience rejection, because if he's too-good-never-been-busted, never been in love and hurt, he won't be mature and grown up.
30. If the guy does something stupid in front of the girl, he will think about it for the next couple days or until the next time he spends time with the girl.
31. No matter how much guys talk about asses and boobs, personality is key.
32. Guys learn from experience not from the romance books that girls read and take as their basis of experience.
33. Guys worry about the thin line between being compassionate and being whipped.
34. If a guy looks unusually calm and laid back, he's probably faking it and is spazzing inside.
35. When a guy says he is going crazy about the girl, he really is. Guys rarely say that.
36. When a guy asks you to leave him alone, he's just actually saying, "Please come and listen to me."
37. Guys don't really have final decisions.
38. If a guy starts to talk seriously, listen to him. It doesn't happen that often, so when it does, you know something's up.
39. If your best guy friend seems to avoid you or is never around when you're with your boyfriend, he's probably jealous and likes you.
40. When a guy looks at you for longer than a second, he's definitely thinking something.
41. Guys like femininity not feebleness.
42. Guys don't like girls who punch harder than they do.
43. A guy has more problems than you can see with your naked eyes.
44. Don't be a snob. Guys can be intimidated and give up easily.
45. Everything in moderation. Put on makeup, wear perfume. Just not too much.
46. Guys talk about girls more than girls talk about guys.
47. Guys hate rejection, but they hate being led on even more.
48. Guys really think that girls are strange and have unpredictable decisions and are MAD confusing but somehow are drawn even more to them.
49. A guy would give his left nut to be able to read a girl's mind for a day.
50. No guy can handle all his problems on his own. He's just too stubborn to admit it.
51. Not all guys are assholes. Just because ONE is a jackass doesnt mean he represents ALL of us.
52. We don't like girls who are too skinny.
53. We love it when girls talk about there boobs.
54. Always make sure you know what kind of stuff your getting into before making out with a guy ...like wheather it's a one time deal or not ......
55. Believe it or not shy guys are the most easiest to talk to..it may not seem right but trust me they will start opening up like books after you just ask them questions about their lives and unoticable tell them about yours...
56. When a guy hits your butt it means that he wants you sexually
57. Even if they refuse it all guys are ticklish on the ribs..
58. Guys love neck rubs and if he lets you keep doing it ..it means that he really likes you or his neck really hurts...
59. Guys will test the waters to see how far they can get with you. Even if he doesn't intend to it will happen. Know how far it is you want to let him go and he will respect that...after you let him know a couple times.
60. When a guy sacerfices his sleep and health just to be with you, he really likes you and wants to be with you as much as possible.
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